The Steps to Rome

The city of Rome is many things, but short is certainly not one of them.

I had heard of the Seven Hills of Rome long before I reached the ancient city, but it really wasn't until I set foot on the banks of the Tiber that I fully comprehended exactly how many stairs accompanied those hills. Almost every inch of the city comprises a staircase or gradient. I ended up walking not so much around the city, and far more up and down through the city. Combining this with a puerile obsession to reach the top of almost every site I came across and we achieve a recipe for idiotic exhaustion.

View from the Top of the Palatine

Every building in Rome offers the "unique" opportunity to climb to it's top for "spectacular views". That's the phrase bandied about: "spectacular views". The phrase has become some code-word, or mantra used to ensnare tourists.

"Come," they call. "See the Eternal City from *our* vantage point! Not that this view is in any way different to the view you would get from the house next door! But Com! Trust Us! The view is Spectacular!"

Lying Bastards!

 *Citation Needed*

And like lams to the slaughter, we follow, following blindly up tight spiral staircases to the top of basilicas, up wide marble steps to beautiful gardens of long-forgotten cardinals, up stairs carved into the hills itself.  There are stairs of polished marble, that echo in vaulted reliquaries. There are stairs of antiquated granites that have been worn down over a thousand years worth of mendicant footfalls. There are shining, aluminum steps that old men slip on during rain storms. The are old steps with industrial mats placed over them, to protect them from metal detectors and X-ray machines. The are Spanish steps that go to French Embassies, and French steps that go to Spanish brothels. They wind backwards, forwards, through, around, betwixt, crouching down , turning sideways.

I can't say Rome is not a beautiful city. While walking through Rome, I can't help but feel as if I am walking through a fairy tale. It's a place of ancient history and culture, and as one ambles through the streets it's nearly impossible not to the feel the weight of those years bearing down upon you; on the other hand, that burning in my calves might have less to do with the history of Rome, and more to do with the Goddamned Stairs!